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What’s Standing In Your Way?
This week , as we continue our Culture of Honor series, we are going to discuss what is getting in the way of leading with honor. And this is not just for Church Leaders. We have all been called to lead others to Christ and in order to do that effectively, we need to lead with honor.
Here are three things that may be getting in the way of you being able to lead with honor:
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Not knowing your core identity in Christ.
When you don’t know your identity in Christ, you will in turn live inauthentically before and those within your inner-circle. All leadership flows from the heart. All issues flow out of the heart. Because of this, we have to keep our hearts clear. That’s why it says in 2 Corinthians:
We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One. Since we are armed with such dynamic weaponry, we stand ready to punish any trace of rebellion, as soon as you choose complete obedience.
What are you feeding your heart through your thought process? We limit ourselves by negative self-talk, when we give voice to our insecurities. Don’t downgrade your dream to match your reality, but upgrade your faith to match His vision for you, especially when you are building something you don’t understand. (That’s why we need faith).
Noah never knew anything about rain when God told him to build the ark. He honored the word of the Lord through the storm in true obedience and sailed through. And when Noah built an altar after the waters had dissipated and they went out on dry land, it was an honor offering. God smelled honor and it was sweet to His nostrils.
The goal isn’t perfect leadership, but it is agreeing that we all want to authentically lead with honor, character, courage, and commitment. Leadership must begin with self-awareness, before the King of kings. We must know and pursue who we are in Him and be willing to be vulnerable and authentic, defeating mindsets that keep us within the boundaries of limitation. A limited mindset challenges our true commitments. They will weaken our courage, defeat us in our purpose, and lie about our true God-given character as a leader. We need to recognize cycles or patterns that are not honoring to ourselves and the intimacy relationship we share with the Father. Entertaining doubt is a luxury we cannot afford!
If you find yourself struggling in these cycles of insecurity, self-doubt, or living inauthentically, then it comes down to who you think you are. Ask Father God to show you who He created you to be. And then silence and discard anything that does not align with that!
2. What you are capable of accomplishing is not necessarily what you are called to do!
Philippians 2:16 – holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.
Who is the man or woman of honor you want to be? Who are you really? There should be no conformity to the ways of the world. When ambition and capability meet, it can cause you to take on things you shouldn’t. Just because we’re capable of accomplishing something, doesn’t mean we should. Many doors will open to us. But not every door that is open is meant for us to walk through. That is why we have to rely on Holy Spirit to lead us. Time is one of the first things God created. There is importance in using your time wisely and effectively. Be sure that what you are walking into is actually what God has for you.
When you are getting to walk through an open door, you have to know your core convictions. What are the things that move you?
Conviction definition – a firmly held belief or opinion.
Your level of confidence is tied to conviction when you are not threatened by another leader who operates in great power and anointing.
Courage leads to confidence. Capitalize on your strengths, but don’t overuse them. This sounds like an oxymoron, but here is what we mean by this. You need to minimize your struggles by developing new behavioral skills and delegating to others. Being busy is not a bragging right. Understand the way you are wired, understand your teammates and how their strengths and weaknesses work with your strengths and weaknesses. Trying to do everything in your own strength and ability will stunt the growth of your ministry. Bringing in others who can work alongside you will ensure that your vision and passion goes beyond just you. God loves to see his people working together in unity towards a common goal to see the Kingdom advanced.
If you don’t know what you need to work on as a leader, ask the people around you. And if you don’t know where to start, ask God for wisdom and courage to step out.
James 1:5-7 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.”
Believe and don’t doubt. Faith is heaven’s calling card of honor in your life. God’s favor is attracted to honor. Acknowledge Him and don’t lean on your own understanding. Lead from the portion that God has assigned to you and know your season!
3. Unwillingness to have honest, healthy communication will stifle a culture of honor.
When we value our relationships with those we are running with, we make it a priority to keep open lines of honest communication. When we lead with honor, we create a safe place for people to bloom. Those we lead should feel that they are safe to take risks and have hard conversations.
As a leader we must have compassion on those who fall short but we should love people enough to call them up to a higher standard and have accountability. Essentially we are saying, “You are way too awesome to be acting like this.”
As a leader, we must allow those we are leading alongside to keep us accountable for our actions in this culture of honor. It is our responsibility to show up 100% in every situation. We are leading people into the unknown and success comes with intentionality and being present. Assess your heart and ask God to reveal the triggers that would cause you to pull back from hard conversations.
Have systems in place when making decisions: remember communication is 80% non-verbal and 20% verbal. It is very easy to misunderstand what someone is actually saying. We all bring our own presumptions and lenses that we see the world through base don past experiences.
When communicating with other team members always listen to understand and not to formulate your next response.
Here are a few statements that you can use to help the person you’re having a hard conversation with to feel heard and understood:
“What I’m hearing you say is…?”
“Did I hear you say this…?”
“What I’m understanding you say is…?”
These questions can help to clear up any miscommunications and give the speaker an opportunity to further explain, if needed. This can also help someone to de-escalate if they are feeling overwhelmed or upset. People need to know you care about what they are going through and that you are willing to get in the trenches with them to guard the intimacy of your relationship with them.
You can only expect results to the degree that you communicate. The amount of value you place on something will determine the fullness you walk in. The point is, no one is born with great communication skills. It has to be learned.
In summary, know who you are, know what God has called you to be and do, and learn how to do courageous communication. All three of these points are paramount when developing our character as leaders.
