Vulnerability in Leadership

Today, we will be going over a teaching on vulnerability from Sandie Doughty. She addresses the fears and feelings we face when we are vulnerable and how risk, vulnerability and courage are necessary to have effective communication.  

Leadership definition:  Anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and has the courage to develop that potential.

Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or waste an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior in their team.

Risk definition: uncertainty of outcome, of actions or events.  Risk is a situation or event where something of human value (including humans themselves) is at stake and where the outcome is uncertain.

Vulnerability definition:  uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure

Courage definition:  The ability to do something that is difficult or frightens you.  Act on one’s beliefs despite danger or disapproval.  It is about having the courage to “show up” when you can’t predict or control the outcome.

The Leadership Salt Test:

Mark 9:49-50 For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt.  Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it?  Have salt in yourselves and have peace with one another.

Sometimes it feels like we are going through the fire when we enter a hard conversation. But it’s that fire which is going to refine us, if we allow the Holy Spirit to work. 

Take McDonalds fries for example: they are so salty you must have a coke to drink, that’s how salty our words should be. They should cause someone to want to drink or be thirsty for Living Water.

Proverbs 14:12

There is a way that seems right to the man, but its end is the way of destruction.

Great leaders work to make sure people can be themselves and feel a sense of belonging.  Pay attention, listen with genuine care and desire for connection. A wise leader is someone who says “I see you, hear you.  I do not have all the answers, but I am going to keep listening and asking questions.” They make you feel like you are part of a team, a valuable part.

We want to choose freedom over fear when it comes to leadership. To do that, we must take risks, allow vulnerability and be courageous. But vulnerability is scary at times. You are opening yourself up to pain, and that is why it also takes courage. 

We must bring vulnerability, risk, and courage, which means that we don’t choose comfort over being respectful and honest. Choosing politeness over respect is not respectful. As a leader, you must create a culture where being “armored” is not accepted. That is what honest communication is.

Ask yourself these questions to see whether or not you are communicating in an effective way: Can you have a hard conversation? Can you stay in a hard conversation? Clarity is kind. Being nclear is unkind.  Feeding people half-truths to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind. 

Think about Jesus and his motives in communication. He always had pure motives, even when he may have felt harsh. When you encounter pure motive, it affects you.  You want to respond to it. We are wired to respond to Truth.  When we admit that life is hard or that situations leave us feeling exposed, we open an opportunity for human connections.

GRACE in vulnerability. 

If part of the human experience is failure, then we do not need to run away from it.  Sticking around our community after our failures are exposed is hard, but there is reward in this type of vulnerability.  It must have been both vulnerable and humiliating for Peter to rejoin the disciples after he carried out the denial that Jesus predicted.  But if he hadn’t shown up, we wouldn’t see his interaction with the risen Lord.  I am inspired by Peter’s example and convinced that we too need to learn how to receive God’s grace in our small failures so that we are prepared for the more significant failures.  In fact, I think one of the most important roles I have as a parent is to model failure to my kids.  It’s a part of life they will have to face, 100 percent guaranteed.  I want them to know that as vulnerable, susceptible beings, failure is something we can anticipate,  And I want them to know that, as Christians, our vulnerability is our opportunity to receive God’s grace, whether help for our failures or strength for our weaknesses.  I want to imitate Peter in this, but it takes some work.

The level of collective courage and vulnerability in an organization is the absolute best predictor of that organization’s ability to be successful.