Discerning Emotions


What is the difference between an emotion and a prompting from the Holy Spirit? Oftentimes, I’ve noticed that a prompting from the Holy Spirit through an emotion comes suddenly. You may wonder why you are feeling a certain way, yet there is no reason for that emotion to be present. Emotions are meant to make you aware of what is going on inside of you. You then have the choice to either let that emotion take control of you or you can take that emotion to God, asking him what he wants to reveal to you. In the event that God is prompting you through an emotion to minister to an individual, take that emotion and let it cause you to empathize and have compassion. Emotions are not bad in and of themselves as they can be a warning sign that something isn’t right but they should never control you. 

I remember a specific time when I was overcome with a negative emotion and it almost took me out a few hours before I was scheduled to lead worship for a women’s conference. Although there’s a lot of back story that led up to this moment but I will try to give a quick debrief. For a long time, I’ve had this deep desire for marriage. It seemed that any time I was around handsome, single, God-fearing men, it threw me for a loop and I began to feel lonely and crave that intimate relationship. 

Before we even left for this weekend of ministry, I had prayed that my heart, mind, will, and emotions over this particular scenario; knowing I was going to be around these young men. But I was still caught off guard during this particular event. Our team at Sanctioned Love had just finished ministering to a group of single, God-fearing men, and my heart started to feel sad and lonely after we had concluded our time of prayer and ministry over them. We went back to our hotel for a time of rest and I suddenly began to downward spiral in my negative emotions. It came on so suddenly and I couldn’t determine at what point in the day I had let my heart shift to focusing on what my soul wanted and not what God had for me to do during this weekend. Here came that confusion that I couldn’t explain, not even to God. Good thing God knows our hearts at all times!

After a time of rest and a lengthy discussion with a team member about what was stirring in my heart, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and proceeded to get ready for our evening worship service. And this is where I’ve always seen God to be faithful. 

During worship that evening, God came in and settled the lonely feeling in my heart. Praise God for that. Then, while we were calling out specific women for prophetic words from the stage, I heard God tell me, “give away the promise ring I had you buy two weeks ago. There’s a young girl who has been feeling the same loneliness and longing for a Godly marriage and this ring is going to give her hope and a promise.” 

I started questioning God. I had just gone away for an overnight trip to seek him for direction in my life and God had told me to buy a man’s wedding band that I would wear on my left ring finger as a symbol that He was going to be my husband until my earthly husband was presented to me. My heart was sad to give away this promise God had given me, but I knew I needed to be obedient. 

I almost chickened out and didn’t give my prophetic word. But at the very last second, I piped up and said I had a ring to give away to a young girl, who had just talked to God about marriage earlier that day and had been asking for a sign from God that he was going to be faithful in this area of her life. I told the group of women that I had a size 7 ring, that I knew the girl was to be young and that this girl had been praying to God about marriage earlier that day. There sat this young girl, in the most adorable pink sweater, sitting in the very back of the room. I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off of her the entire night. There’s a clue God might have had a word for me to give her! She raised her hand and said that it was her who had been praying to God about that very thing, her ring size was 7 and she was a 14 year old girl. Earlier that day, this young girl’s purity ring broke at school and she was asking God how she was going to get it fixed. This ring held much importance to her, because she longed to keep herself pure and holy before God, believing that when she was ready, God would send her the Godly man that she deeply desired. 

As I prayed for this girl and presented her with the ring, I heard God whisper in my heart, “could the loneliness and deep longing you felt earlier today possibly be a prompting from the Holy spirit for a prophetic word, and not your own emotion?” I knew in that moment, that If I had submitted that emotion to God, and asked him if this was an issue in my own heart, or if He was trying to get my attention for prophetic ministry, maybe I wouldn’t have laid in bed with anxiety and sadness for 3 hours before a worship service that night. 

I look back over my life and see all the many different times that I let my emotions control me, when Holy Spirit was trying to get my attention. How many times have I missed out on a ministry opportunity because I made an emotion about myself and didn’t take it to God? 

I challenge you, especially if God speaks to you through emotional promptings as he has done with me so many times, to ask God to teach you how to discern the emotion and the promptings from the Holy Spirit. Let him guide you and speak to you as you go throughout your day. Maybe the random feeling of depression is Holy Spirit leading to pray for that co-worker who is contemplating suicide. Maybe the anxiety is a prompting to call a friend who has no idea how they are going to pay their next rent bill. If you submit your will and emotions to God, he will be faithful to use you to touch others and you will find that your emotions will not control you, but you will be able to submit your emotions to the will of God.


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Intentional and Purposeful


Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

“Beloved children, our love can’t be an abstract theory we only talk about, but a way of life demonstrated through our loving deeds.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭3:18‬ TPT

Have you ever taken a moment to think about what it looks like to be intentional? What do you imagine? What kinds of feelings or desires spring up inside of you? Does it make you think about buying your friend a card for no other reason but to send them words of encouragement? Do you think about that coworker who gets on your nerves? Maybe a thoughtful little gift could spur you on to understanding each other better and developing a friendship. How about taking the time every day to sit with God and let Him speak to you, and maybe you don’t say a thing about your needs but let God speak what is on his heart?

Being intentional costs you something. The definition of intentional is something that is done on purpose or deliberately. When you purpose to be intentional, it requires a thoughtful effort on your part. It may not cost you money, but it will require you to give of your time and of yourself. All these examples above require something of you. You may experience a moment of discomfort giving that stinker of a coworker a gift because what if that person rejects your desire to start off on a better foot? Or maybe the card you send to that friend is not reciprocated with a thoughtful response or a thank you?


Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash

Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash

Being intentional is more important than you think because not being intentional can cost you valuable relationships. When you neglect to take care of the relationships God has entrusted to you, you not only hurt those in front of you, but you start to feel alone. Maybe you feel alone or unseen because people stopped trying because the relationship always felt one-sided. Perhaps you only reach out if you need something from them. They put in all the effort, and you never return that effort. Maybe you seem to always talk about yourself, but you never inquire on how things are going on their side of the fence. Perhaps you randomly fall off the face of the earth for long periods of time. This way of living in a relationship is selfish. You do not get to play the victim if you are self-inflicting this type of pain. You must make a conscious decision to be the friend that you want others to be for you.

So, what has spurred this topic of conversation in my own relationships?

Recently, I took a mini-vacation to get away with God and take a rest period for myself. During one of my quiet times with him, I heard God tell me to take 30 days of being intentional. During these 30 days, God wanted me to get away from all social media and to work on connecting with people through in-person hang-out times, phone calls, encouraging texts and over facetime. He wanted it to be about more than just liking a post on Facebook. He wanted me to get out of my comfort zone, get off my couch, get out of my house and make a genuine effort to find a relational connection. Not only did I feel that making these genuine connections would help me grow closer with my friends, but it would also bring me out of a place of loneliness and disconnection.

During my quiet time with God during my 30 days of fasting social media, he began to speak to me about his heart for other people and would have me pray for them. This caused me to be more intentional with my friends and family. To reach out and send texts, letting them know what I was praying for them. He had me make an effort to spend time with them and be an encouragement. You have to make time for what you want to grow. If you’re going to succeed in being intentional, you have to give up your own wants and desires to create time and space to build relationships with others. A healthy relationship takes time and effort.

Even in this time of social distancing, you can find connections and relationships that are more than superficial conversations or simply sitting next to each other on your phones. I’ve been challenged to put my phone away when I am with others. Not having social media to turn to when I’m bored has caused me to reach out and create conversations with real, live people. I don’t get to fill a void of loneliness or boredom with a fake sense of connection. I have to reach out and find a genuine connection.

Are you intentional in your walk with God and your walk with others? Are you thinking of others or only of yourself? The more intentional you are with God, the more intentional you become with others.

Embrace the season you’re in, thank God for it, and make the most of it.

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Hard Deliverance


Photo by Paula Palmieri on Unsplash

Photo by Paula Palmieri on Unsplash

From a distant place, the clatter of horseshoes on concrete interrupted my sleep. I struggled to come to grips with its meaning.  When the noise dragged me awake, I shot out of bed.  Dashing into the breezeway of the barn, my worst fears were realized. Nubbin had his head stuffed in a grain barrel.  When he heard me, he looked up blinking as if to say “What’s your problem?”  My problem was the possibility of losing him to death or permanent lameness.  

As every horse owner knows, horses love grain, and it’s good for them in small doses.  But their digestive system can’t  handle the large amounts they consume if left to their own devices. Colic and/or a condition called founder, often result.  The effect of the latter is something akin to smashing your thumbnail with a hammer. A carbohydrate overload sends blood rushing to the feet, and it becomes trapped behind the hard-shelled hoof. In extreme cases, horses can no longer walk and have to be put down. Colic, in and of itself isn’t terminal, but the cure a horse seeks is.  Looking for relief, they roll and thrash around on the ground.  This can lead to a twisted intestine which is usually fatal.

So, standing there in the cold barn, I chastised myself for forgetting to properly secure Nubbin’s stall latch.  I sighed, caught my horse, and shut him away from the thing he loved most in that moment. I then, called the vet.  We determined he probably hadn’t gotten enough grain to founder, but to avoid colic, I needed to walk him for a couple of hours. Walking keeps the digestive process moving.  Since it would be half that long until daylight, I rode him, in a lot of small circles, in the pool of fluorescent light just outside the barn. Riding circles is good training for a horse.  Among other things, it teaches them suppleness so they easily give to commands communicated through legs or reins.  But for a rider, especially one bereft of sleep, it can get old fast.

A thin line of silver appeared on the gray horizon, and something besides a new day began to dawn on me. Sometimes in our spiritual and emotional lives we find ourselves in toxic situations like the one facing my horse that morning.  The causes are many. Maybe it was our own lustful appetite, or perhaps, as in my horses case, it was the result of a caretaker’s neglect. Or it could be that we’ve suffered great loss or  have been abused. Whatever the reason, the result is the same: we are sick and in pain.

The temptation is to seek relief, no matter what the price.  Just as a horse with colic wants to roll to help its distress, our pain can lead us to bad decisions, some of which are fatal.  We look for all kinds of escapes—overeating, drugs, alcohol, and bad relationships only start the list. 

But God has another plan.  He wants us to walk it out, with Him in the saddle. He wants to ride through it with us. Our job, is to cling to His every word and keep moving.  Often the only light we have is as dim and small as a fluorescent pool shining down from an outside barn light.  It doesn’t seem like much compared to the vast black night surrounding us, and it’s easy to feel like we aren’t going anywhere.  


Photo by Luis Hinojosa on Unsplash

Photo by Luis Hinojosa on Unsplash

The truth is we are going somewhere.  We are going through a process that will free us and make us strong. Whether we choose to walk it out with God, or thrash around on the ground looking for our own solutions, there will be misery and pain.  One pain leads to life, the other to death.  My prayer for you is that you choose life.

“And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make the darkness light before them, and crooked things straight.  These things will I do unto them and not forsake them.”–Isaiah 42:16

© 1998 Jean Nelsen

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Dreams Awaken!

When I was a freshman in high school, our English teacher gave us a creative writing assignment. He gave us a prompt that read, “It was a world inhabited by…” and then we had to fill in the rest of the story with a five-page paper. A story started formulating in my mind, taking me to a fantasy world brought to life by music. When I got home from school that day, I wrote the paper in less than an hour. It was the most fun I had ever had doing a homework assignment!


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When I turned the paper in the next week, I didn’t expect anything to come of it. To my great surprise, my teacher picked my story to read in front of the entire class! I was absolutely mortified! I knew my face was turning beet red as he read my work aloud. What would my peers think of me? It sounded so strange being read by someone else. 

When he finished reading, he announced that the story’s author was me, much to my further embarrassment. He told me, “You better make this into a novel someday and get this published!” I was shocked. Like so many of us, I was the hardest on myself. And that is still true to this day. 

I have been writing little stories ever since I learned to hold a pencil. Thankfully, I grew up in a home where my parents and family always encouraged us to go for our dreams. Well, it’s been fifteen years since I started developing that Freshman English assignment into a novel, and I’m finally starting the process of publishing. 

The five-page essay has turned into a three-part series, set in a world with a language and culture of its own. I’ve been feeling for a couple years now that it was time to finish it and get it published.

Yet a few months ago, just as I answered God’s call to finally get these novels published. I started to have doubts. Satan started saying, “It’s too late. You missed the boat. You waited too long to get this published, and now it will never happen…” And for a moment, I wondered if it really was too late. I mean, it’s been almost fifteen years! Our world has changed so much since I was a freshman. Would my words really have an effect anymore? 

I talked to my husband as soon as those lies started filling my mind, and he was like, “Umm, of course, it’s not too late!” 

It’s true that I probably could have written and published my book series a long time ago. But I wouldn’t have had the knowledge or connections I have now. I’ve been working as a ghostwriter for the last year and a half. Running my own jewelry business has taught me about marketing and networking. Through Sanctioned Love, I met a fantastic publisher, Kristi Stalder, who is helping me on my journey to getting my books published! 

This experience made me wonder: how many other people out there have a dream from God that think, “It’s too late.” Maybe you’ve held a dream in your heart since you were a kid, just like me. But the years have flown by, and you think you missed your chance. 


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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but YOU HAVE NOT MISSED YOUR CHANCE! The Bible says that God is not constrained by our timeline. I feel that God is calling us to be courageous, take those dreams off the shelf, and go for them! You know why? Because God put them in your heart for a reason, and He needs your unique creativity to be released in the earth– even for such a time as this. 

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.


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Your dream is not just for you. It’s to bring life to those around you! I know there has been a lot of “hope deferred” in the last year. God wants your dream to come to life so you can impact others for His kingdom. You see, I think we sometimes get this skewed idea that going for our dream is selfish. I used to want to be a famous writer and travel worldwide doing interviews and book signings. But God changed my perspective. I don’t want fame. I want to make His name famous. I want to see a lost and dying world come to know my God as the loving, kind, and powerful One that He is. And He can use something as simple as a novel to do it. 

Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Allow Father God to pursue your dream with you. I believe He is giving His Church a special anointing for their dreams in this season. Maybe you feel like some of your dreams have died. Let Him breathe a fresh wind from His Spirit on your heart, and bring those dreams to life again!

Written by: Nicole Boyd

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Surrendering in Worship

Did you grow up in the church? 

Are you new to your relationship with Jesus? 

Did you recently decide to restart your walk with Jesus? 

Do you have it all together and don’t need to know anything else? HA!  If that is you, please reach out to teach us your tips!  (LOL!)

It does not matter where you are at with your relationship with Jesus. We should always be looking to evaluate our current state and desire to understand more on a deeper level. To know Him more. To understand why we do, or don’t do things and to understand how we do things. We will never fully arrive, until then… let’s take a little time to learn more. 


Photo by Ahmad Odeh on Unsplash

Photo by Ahmad Odeh on Unsplash

Sometimes Christians can say and do things but not always have the heart revelation of what they are saying or doing. First, let’s look at the definitions…

Surrender – cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.

Worship – the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.

I am a very visual person. I used to picture surrendering as a white flag waving in the air. The person waving the flag acknowledges defeat, feels sadness, shame, embarrassment, and fear. The whole scene would be negative for the one surrendering. It took me a while to figure out that surrender could become a good picture instead of a negative one. Jesus took me through some journeys where I realized how to surrender in a healthy and positive way. 

In the last blog, I spoke about a song I wrote that came out of a very painful season in my life. I learned that you can surrender in different ways and multiple times in the same areas of life. That in itself can be frustrating. However, if you are willing, you will grow deeper in your walk with God through that if you let Him show you, what He wants to show and teach you. 

I was planning to have a Sozo (an inner healing exercise/ministry) with one of our team members. Before our time together, she had me do a little homework with Jesus. She said, “Ask Jesus what He wants to deal with during your Sozo time”. I thought it would be about how to immediately heal the pain in my heart. NOPE! He wanted me to focus on surrendering. I literally asked God, “AGAIN?!” You can laugh, but it was true. I felt like I had already learned how to surrender to Jesus. 

We left our home church because we felt like God had told us that that chapter of our lives was closing. My family and I moved down to Southern CA. with nowhere to live and no income. It was ALL on faith! My husband changed jobs because he felt that God told him to close that chapter also. We have trusted and surrendered many times, and now God was asking me to surrender AGAIN!

 If you look back at the definition of surrender, you will see that it says, “Cease resistance to an enemy,” but then it also says “opponent.” Obviously, God is NOT our enemy! But I think that sometimes our choices make Him our opponent instead of our ally. We make plans and have thoughts that we do not invite God into and then get mad and stressed when it is not working out, nor can we hear God in the midst of it all. When you find yourself there….. Guess what?! It is time to surrender that moment, that thought, that circumstance, that emotion, that person, and your life to Jesus. 

Look at the scripture references below: 

Psalm 46:10 (The Passion Translation) 

Surrender your anxiety!

Be silent and stop your striving, and you will see that I am God.

I am the God above all the nations,

and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth. 

Psalm 46:10 (New Living Translation)

 “Be still, and know that I am God!

    I will be honored by every nation.

    I will be honored throughout the world.”

I think it is important that when you read the Bible, that you always find another translation to compare it to. Sometimes the words in one translation will speak more clearly to your circumstance and help bring clarity to how you process your thoughts and prayers with Jesus. For example: in The Passion Translation, it says, “surrender your anxiety”. In the New Living Translation, however, it says, “Be still and know that I am God”. The words may change but the message does not. Sometimes you need to hear “Just be still” or “chill out!” Other times you might need it to be more broken down for it to tell you exactly what to do, “surrender your anxiety”. 

All that being said, we should always be on the lookout for opportunities where we need to be surrendering to Jesus. Trust me. He would rather take care of us, than watch us try to take care of things on our own. 

Now, that we have discussed the importance of surrendering to Jesus, in all of our various stages of walks, we need to figure out how to use worship in the midst of surrendering. 

For me, worshipping comes easy. I am a worshipper. Technically, everyone is a worshipper. However, some people can connect more easily in worship despite the songs, music, singers, setlist, environment, lighting, ambiance, worship leader…..and the list goes on. Hey! I like all of those things, too! However, those are not the definition of worship. (Refer to the definition above) Worship is a feeling of reverence for our Father God. Worship is an action of the heart. Worship is a form of communication with God. Surrendering during your worship time with the Lord can be one of the most intimate, powerful, and freeing times that you can have with Jesus. 

Sometimes we think we know how to worship. We think we know how to surrender but, we don’t surrender in our worship, and we don’t surrender our worship to God. I am not shaming anyone. I am speaking from experience. I learned how to worship, and I learned how to surrender, but I didn’t necessarily put them together.

In worship, we close our eyes, lift our hands, clap, sway… WHY? 

The actions we do during our worship to God should be an external expression of what is happening in that moment. Answer those questions for yourself. I don’t think there is a wrong answer unless you are doing it for the wrong reasons. So take a second to ask yourself, why I do what I do?

I close my eyes so I can see His face and see what He wants me to see. 

I lift my hands to show that I surrender to Him and to praise 

His name and point to the One that is above it all! 

I clap because I get excited when I feel the Spirit moving in the room. 

(Also to help keep everyone else clapping on tempo LOL!)

I sway because my body can’t help but move when 

I feel God’s presence, and I feel Him near me. 

Like I said, there is no wrong answer. Just ask yourself. 

I want to challenge you as well. 

Think about where your walk is with Jesus. 

What areas do you need to surrender to Him?

Take those areas into your worship time. 

Let Him reveal more, or let Him just love on you. 

His peace truly does surpass anything that we can understand in our own circumstances and reasoning. 

Remember that He is for you! 

Remember that His love is never-ending and never failing. 

Remember that  He chose you!

Remember that His ways are higher than our ways. 

Remember that Jesus loves YOU!


Photo by Peter Conlan on Unsplash

Photo by Peter Conlan on Unsplash

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Story Behind the Song… By Megan Stockwell


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Sanctioned Love has been a growing team for many years now! In December 2020, Sanctioned Love Music had the privilege of recording its first live worship project. The experience alone far exceeded our expectations and desires. We cannot wait for it to come out this year so that you can enjoy and be blessed by it! Some of the songs are covers, but there are some original songs written by a couple of our worship leaders, myself included. One of the songs on the album is “Let You Love Me.” This song was quickly created out of a couple of conversations during a very difficult season in my life. 

For most Christians, we have this idea, that when we go through hard and difficult times, we can quote scripture at ourselves to snap out of the emotional rollercoaster of pain that we find ourselves in. Even though scripture is The Powerful Truth that we should be speaking over our lives, hearts, minds, and souls; it does not always feel like an instant healer. Reading scripture is not always the “Ibuprofen of words,” that once you’ve read it, the pain starts to dissipate in 20-30 minutes. Scripture is the sustaining Bread of Life. It brings revelation, it brings healing, it brings perspective, and it brings us closer to God. When we follow Jesus, nothing authentic comes from a “spiritual microwave”… DING! and YOU ARE DONE! 

Music is a powerful avenue to help assist in the healing of our hearts and minds. True restoration comes from Jesus but music-more specifically worship music-can help aid in this process. As I had stated earlier, the song “Let Me Love You” came out of a very painful season in my life. I felt so alone, frustrated, isolated, lost, confused, hurt, angry, tired, and needless to say, I was not in a good headspace. I was praying, fasting, waking up early to spend time with Jesus. I was reading my Bible and, worshipping, but nothing dulled the pain. I was trying soooo hard to seek His face, by doing all of these things to “get” to Him; yet I felt like nothing, and no one could help me. When I was on the phone with a friend, who was trying to encourage me, she simply told me that I did not have to “DO” but that I could simply “BE”. She told me to stop trying to do things and just let Jesus love me. 

       

Such a simple concept, and yet it never crossed my mind.

         

          When we got off the phone, the words sank into my heart and really resonated with me. I knew I had to write a song as soon as possible! I put together some chords, a melody, started piecing lyrics together, called a friend to help me with more lyrics, finished the lyrics and BOOM!-the song was completed within a day!


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            This song is about how pain can keep us isolated and alone, but when we let Jesus come and sit by us, while we are hurting, the healing process can start. We have to invite Jesus into our situations. Sometimes, we need to use the tools that He has provided (scripture, prayers, community, worship etc.), and at other times, we need to just sit still and wait for Him to come sit with us. We need to invite Him to sit down, invite Him to put His arms around us, and invite Him to comfort us. Often, we know He is the One who can heal us, but we do not let Him get close enough to do anything because the pain seems too big or painful and we are afraid that if He touches us, it will hurt more.

Matthew 11: 28-30 says, “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to Me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with Mine. Learn My ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in Me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”

This scripture is such a good reminder.  We do not have to have it ALL together ALL the time! Our lives are busy and consuming at times, but……

It is all pointless without Jesus in the middle of it all. 

You can be experiencing the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, but either way, you need Jesus in the middle. Invite Him into your situation(s) today. Take a second to stop, breathe, and ask Him to sit by you. Be encouraged and remember that Jesus is for you! He is with you! If He feels far away, ask Him to come closer! 

So be on the lookout for the Aperitif Worship Project from Sanctioned Love Music! My prayer is that every note and lyric will speak to you. 

Love it! Share it! 

God Bless You, and Jesus Loves You!

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Seal of Fire

In the last blog post, we saw that at the beginning of our walk with God, we are weak but lovely. The book of Song of Songs is a beautiful picture of the Bride and how we start out our relationship with Jesus. We see how her love matures over time and ends with Jesus placing a seal of fire on her heart that cannot be quenched. Today, we are going to focus on the seal of fire.


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At the beginning of this 8-chapter love song, the maiden cries out for Jesus to give her the kisses of His mouth, or the kisses of His Word. 

Song of Songs 1:2

Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth—

    for Your love is more delightful than wine.

At the end of the book, we see how the Bride has matured and her commission. 

Song of Songs 8: 5-7

Friends: Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved? 

Him: Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labor gave you birth. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.


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God’s purpose is to provide an eternal companion for His Son. This is where we see that Jesus is not only our inheritance, but we are His! God wanted to create a people who would love His Son the same way He loves her. You see, at the end of days, all creation will bow down in obedience to God. We know this from the verse that says: “Every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is LORD.” At this point, people don’t have a choice. They WILL bow and confess that Jesus is Lord. But there will be a portion of those who actually love Him by choice. We need the power of God to love God. 

This seal on the heart is a flame of God’s fire. It is so powerful that no power in the natural realm can overpower it. Even water cannot put out this kind of fire. Many waters of sin and trials, this fire cannot be quenched. 

This is a promise. He wants us to set our hearts on and actively participate to receive this seal. This seal is a progressive seal, and it releases more as we surrender to it. It begins when we receive Jesus, and it progressively transforms and grows – forever. 

The study of Song of Songs is a call for one thing. It is the Spirit and the bride saying, “Come, Lord Jesus.” Jesus is calling the bride to invite Him to be the seal on our hearts. He will not force us to love Him. He calls us to invite Him to come and allow Him to love us in this way. He wants us to know Him as the God of jealous love. He demands that all of our hearts be His, and then it exhilarates us. When we give up everything to love Him like it talks about in Song of Songs, 8:7, it would be preposterous to boast in that. His love is the reward itself. Jesus empowers us to love Him and to love others.


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Jesus says, “set me as a seal.” He says that the love He will impart to you will be as strong as death. It will be as all-consuming in its demands as death is. Everything dies. Nobody and nothing escapes the power of death. He’s saying, “My love is as demanding as death is.” As nothing can outrun death, so nothing can outrun my love. It is far more powerful than addictions, bondage, or sickness. 

The jealousy of divine love is cruel or unrelenting and demanding. He is the living flame of love. If we walk in his light, He gives us more and more. Nothing escapes the grasp of jealous love. Whatever darkness is in your heart, his love is more consuming than even that.

This jealousy is not a negative jealousy. It is of love and light. He knows that it will cause our spirit to rejoice. 

He wants us to love him in the same way He loves us. When he asks you to love Him with all of your mind, soul, heart and strength, He isn’t asking you to do something that He hasn’t first done for us. He loves us the same way that he asks us to love Him!

Can you imagine? God loves us with all His mind. That’s the mind that created the universe and the galaxies. That’s the mind that created every intricate part of creation. That’s mind-blowing in itself! He loves us with all His strength. All his soul and all his heart. 

God will not relent until he has all of us. He won’t relent until he has it all, like the song. The unity with Jesus is the seal of love he places on our hearts. That is our greatest calling – to love Him. That is what I have learned through this study. It’s not about the “stuff” we do for him. It’s just like Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet. We need to have both: service and love. But the greater call is love. 

And that’s the beauty of love! When we love Him as He loves us, we will naturally overflow with love for others. We will naturally serve others! 

If we yield to God’s love, it will overtake us – and we can have it now! We don’t have to wait until we die and go to be with him. We can have it in this age, not just the age to come. (Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.) We can look at the flood of darkness that was foretold to come in the end times and see it through the fiery seal on our hearts, knowing that not even that flood can put it out. 

The ‘wealth of our house’ is not just finances. It is our honor and character, our legacy. Paul said he gave all those things up, counting them as rubbish compared to the love of God. 

I believe that God is calling us to return to our First Love in this season. There have been many distractions and trials during the past year, and it would be foolish to say that they are over just because we have entered a new year. But even in all these things, we can have confidence in Him. We can place our trust in Him. It’s time to turn our attention and affections back to Jesus. He is the only one who can fill the hole in our hearts. Loving Him is the greatest reward we could ask for. 

I encourage you to go through the full study with Mike Bickle at https://mikebickle.org/series/The-Song-of-Songs-(2007). I promise you won’t be disappointed!

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Dark, but Lovely

First Love, Part 1: Dark, but Lovely


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In April of 2020, I was asked to be a part of a Bible study centering around the Song of Songs. The 24-week study by Mike Bickle, the founder of the International House of Prayer, carried us through this amazing book verse by verse. It was amazing to see with the perspective of Jesus as the Groom and the Church as the Shulamite maiden and later Bride. It was so good, and I wanted to share a couple of take-aways with you for January. 

In the first four chapters of this book, we see how Jesus is our inheritance. In the last four books, we see how we are Jesus’ inheritance! Song of Songs essentially follows a believer’s journey, beginning when they accept Jesus as their savior. It ends with that person as a mature believer, with a seal of fire on their hearts that cannot be quenched. 

This week, I wanted to focus on a verse from Song of Songs 1:5: 

Dark am I, yet lovely, daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon. 

Now, at first glance, you might be thinking, “Yeah? So what? So her skin is dark.” At least, that’s what I always thought when I read this. But Bickle broke this down and showed me a completely different view. In this passage, the maiden is saying, “I am dark [of heart], yet lovely [to God].” When I heard that, I had to stop and chew on this idea for a while. Bickle calls this the paradox of grace, where we discover how dark our hearts are but realize that even in our weakness, we are lovely to God. Holy Spirit shines his light on us, and we see the hidden things in our hearts that need to be cleaned out. The more light God gives us, the more darkness we see. 

But we mustn’t stop there! So many people get caught up, focusing only on how dark they are. If you think of yourself as dirty or sinful, you will continue to live your life as a dirty and sinful person. That’s not how God created you to be. We have to also see and grow in this confidence that we are lovely to God!

Now, this may not be a popular teaching. Who wants to see the darkness inside of themselves? Uhh, not me! This idea reminds me of a story from my marriage. When my husband and I got married, I was 22, and he was 20. Basically, we were children. But we thought we had it all figured out! Don’t worry, it didn’t take long for us to figure out that, no, we DID NOT have it all figured out. Whenever we are doing marriage counseling with a couple before their wedding, my husband always starts out saying, “Marriage shows you how terrible of a person you are.” And, of course, we laugh, but it is so true. Living with someone on that intimate level brings all the “crud” to the surface, like dead fish rising belly-up to the surface of a pond. Eww. 

But even with all the “crud,” we have to choose to see ourselves through the eyes of God. It may feel like your love for Him is weak. But that doesn’t mean our love is false. It’s just weak. When love is young and new, it is still genuine! The problem is, we focus on the darkness of our hearts, rather than the blood of Jesus that covers that darkness. He wants us to allow Him to deal with those dark spots of our hearts AND be confident in His love for us! You don’t have to choose between one or the other. 

God knew how dark our hearts were even before we accepted his salvation. And he still wanted us! He doesn’t need me to bring anything to the table for him to love me. We have to know that we are lovely to God. We can’t just focus on the fact that we are dark, or else we will live in a constant state of shame in our relationship with God. 

We can approach the throne with confidence because we see how lovely we are to God. We have to see ourselves through God’s eyes. They cannot feel the pleasure of walking with God, even in their immaturity. The truth is, God enjoys us even in our weakness and immaturity. Hebrews 4:16

Here are four reasons why we are lovely to God. 

1. We receive the gift of righteousness. We have received the gift of Jesus’ righteousness, and this cannot be improved upon. Did you know that God sees Jesus and your righteousness as equal? That’s because you received Jesus’ righteousness when you accepted Him. 

2. A willing spirit. This is the sincere desire to obey Him, which is the supernatural work of God in our lives. It makes God smile when He sees that willing spirit inside of us. 

3. It’s His nature to see us as lovely. It’s related to God’s personality. It’s like that saying, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” He sees things so differently than we do. While man looks at the outward performance, God looks at the movements of our hearts. 

4. God sees us through our eternal destiny as the Bride of Christ. He doesn’t just see you through the lens of what you said last week or your latest slip-up. He sees the whole of who you are and what we do before Him, in the scheme of all eternity. 


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Jesus knew Peter would stumble the night he was taken to be crucified. Peter ended up denying Jesus three times, but Jesus said that Peter’s spirit was willing, but his flesh was weak. Peter focused on the part that said his flesh was weak, and he argued, saying that he would never deny God. But of course, we know he did. Jesus was looking at Peter through the eyes of eternity. He could see into Peter’s future and how he would step into his divine call. 

I’m sure Peter felt like a failure, like he would never serve in ministry again. And in fact, he went back to fishing the week after Jesus was crucified. But Jesus met him on the shore and restored their relationship and his place in ministry. 

I have a similar story of failure in my own life. When I was twenty, I moved back home after finishing a year at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I thought I had my life together, and I wanted to step into the next chapter of life– marriage. I had been talking with a guy I’d met in high school while I was at Bethel, and when I came home, we started dating. A few red flags came up, but I ignored them. I was proud and thought I could handle it. But I was very wrong. It didn’t take long for our relationship to take a downward spiral. We had very different ideas of what purity meant, and I was dragged down with him. I felt trapped and alone. I thought that if I told anyone, they would kick me out of the church. I would never accomplish what God had called me to do. 

Thankfully, God rescued me, using my parents to help me out of that wildly unhealthy relationship. I remember standing outside my workplace, where my mom and I worked together as receptionists, crying my eyes out. I said, “No good Christian guy will ever want me now.” My mom hugged me and said that the right man would love me, even when he found out all the crap I’d gone through. And she was right. God did such a quick work in my heart. I came to Him with sincere repentance, and he healed my heart. A couple days later, God brought my husband to me. But that’s a story for another time… 

When a person fails God, they often get rid of their high-vision, which is to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. The thought of failing Him again is too painful. It’s not that they don’t love God anymore. They just settle for a complacent existence. They go back to “fishing.” 

It would have been so easy for me to fall back into what was safe. But God called me to do more than just slide by. He created me to run after Him with everything inside me! And He purposes the same for you. You may be dark, beloved, but you are lovely to God. 

(These thoughts were taken while I was doing a study by Mike Bickle. To go through the full study yourself, visit https://mikebickle.org/series/The-Song-of-Songs-(2007))

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Aperitif

What an amazing weekend this has been! We have been preparing to record our first ever LIVE CD project at Eagle Mountain in Bend, Oregon, and we know that many of you have been praying for us as we do seek the heart of Father God for this project.


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The album name, Aperitif, came through much prayer and intercession. It is a prophetic declaration from the Lord designed to reveal the heart of this project. An aperitif is used before a meal to draw together the mingling guests before the celebration enfolds. The chosen flavors are designed to stimulate and prepare the guests’ palates to open wide in anticipation. Then, in that moment of attention, all are ready to receive the beautiful bounty of the magnificent banquet table that the Father has so lovingly prepared for them. The Lord is preparing a banquet and this first LIVE album from Sanctioned Love is an aperitif of praise and worship.


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We believe that the Lord is saying to taste and see that He is good! No matter what is going on around us in the world and in our nation, He is still on the throne and He is good. This time of preparation, this time of enjoying the aperitif, is to prepare us to receive his bountiful banquet!


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“Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit. He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me.”

‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭2:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This verse felt fitting to share in connection with this momentous project. It speaks of Jesus as the Groom, the lover of our souls. He brings us under his covering and refreshes us. His presence is delicious!


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We believe that in this next season, he is calling us back to our First Love. The church as a whole has been a sleeping giant, but no more! We pray that this time of preparation would refresh and encourage you so that you may do all that God has called you to in the great awakening that is coming!


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The album will be available for purchase on iTunes for digital download in Spring of 2021. In the meantime, we would love to have your continued prayers as the project goes into post-production. We believe that Holy Spirit will take this recording around the globe, using it to minister to the deep places of people’s hearts.


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Love and Judgment

Where do you stand on God’s Love and His Judgement?

There are essentially two schools of thought in some Christian circles. I believe that these two thoughts operate out of fear. One believes that the Love of God overcomes judgment and the other view believes that because of God’s judgment, He is showing His Love. I think these two views tend to run toward the far end of each spectrum and not consider that God has both of these characteristics in balance through Salvation.

When there are extremes on the Love or the Judgement of God, it can bring division within the body and confusion to the world. The underlying factor of both of these viewpoints and or factions is rooted in fear. We do need the fear of the Lord but not fear that steers us toward extremes.


Photo by Bill Oxford on Unsplash

Photo by Bill Oxford on Unsplash

We can run into the extreme position that if God is a God of Love, then His Love overrides His Judgement. We can also run into the other extreme position, that if God is a God of judgment, He is just, and that is His Love. Both of these statements are true, but what are the motives behind them? Fear can cause these views to be unbalanced. Fear may push one faction to the extreme spectrum that stands on the thought that God is Love and His Love cancels out His judgment. Negating that there is no judgment. And on the other extreme spectrum of thought, fear pushes people to believe that His judgment causes repentance so that God can love them. Thus, negating that God’s loving-kindness leads people into repentance. Both of these nullifies the Passion of Christ and His Salvation.

Both of these viewpoints can have a mixture in it and dilute the Truth of God’s Word. For example, God loves everyone no matter how you do your “Jesus,” God loves everyone, and He doesn’t want anyone to perish…FALSE! What? It’s false?? You even quoted a portion of scripture in here Joy? Do you see the danger?? Mix some good sounding scripture in, and there you go, everyone is saved because God is Love. This discredits Salvation on all levels!

The other example is that you need to complete a list of things to be saved and to be forgiven. God is this dictator in heaven, and if you sneeze wrong, you are going to hell. This view has no room for God’s mercy and loving-kindness. It’s a works doctrine. You can only attain Salvation by doing this, this and that. This view also negates Salvation on all levels.

Therefore, the balanced position would be to know that God is both the God of unconditional Love AND a God of judgment. We must move in the full counsel of His word.

There is no judgment for a born again believer because of the work that Jesus did on the cross and because of His shed blood. That is our justice and judgment! We know that we have been purchased because of a great price, the death of our Savior on a cross. We are eternally grateful for His Love and that He took our judgment and laid it upon Himself. This Love, propels us into loving God with humility and loving others into repentance. It propels us to die to our own flesh and sinful nature and to please God with our lives. We know that without God and without receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior, there is judgment.

God is LOVE, and God is JUDGMENT! For those born again, receiving Jesus as their Lord and Savior, that is their judgment. 

For those who refuse to receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior, that is their judgment.

Love and Judgement are both connected to the shed Blood of Jesus on the cross. It is the Blood of Jesus that justifies us, and we are saved from His wrath and judgment. Because of His great Love for us and because of His rich mercy, He made us alive with Christ Jesus when we were still yet dead in our sins. It is by His unmerited grace that we have been saved! This is the full counsel of God. Salvation is His Love and His Judgement.

With all of this being said, the earth is experiencing judgment from a God of justice and a God of Love. I believe right now that the earth is travailing and is expectantly waiting for the sons/daughters of God to be revealed. In His mercy and by His grace, He is moving in Judgement upon the earth to wake up His church from their slumber. He exposes sin hidden by the enemy and reveals a beautiful hidden mystery, His Bride, His Church. This is all happening at once because He is calling His Bride to labor with Him and usher in the greatest harvest of souls that the world has ever seen. God is revealing His “Burning Ones,” those who are baptized and are on fire in the Holy Spirit! They are being refined by the Refiner’s fire. God is in the process of purifying and sanctifying His Bride. This is done by washing their robes in the Blood of the Lamb to become white as snow. 


Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

God is also looking for a harvest throughout the earth. He is calling out to those who do not yet know Him. God is calling them to repentance and Salvation. This is His Love! 

God is pouring His Spirit out on all flesh. This is the Holy Spirit’s finest hour. Alleluia!

John 3:16 ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.’

Beautiful ones, I’m writing this to encourage you to move in the full counsel of God and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Let us not get caught in any extremes but to be leaders in the full counsel of God’s word and by the full measure of His Holy Spirit.

Wake up o’sleeper. Come into your inheritance! There is a harvest of souls yet to harvest. The fields are ready for harvest!

Position yourself. Surrender yourself to the Refiner’s Fire. Come into the full counsel of God. Keep your eyes locked on His. No more extremes! No more mixture! You were born for such a time as this!

Speak the truth in Love! Move in compassion, laying down the plumb lines and standards as you go. God is moving in Love and in judgment as we approach His soon return. Look to Him, listen to Him and thank Him for His Salvation. Ask Him to show you ways that you can bring His full counsel and the full measure of His Holy Spirit to those who are perishing.

Be blessed!

Joy Pharo

Sanctioned Love