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When I was a freshman in high school, our English teacher gave us a creative writing assignment. He gave us a prompt that read, “It was a world inhabited by…” and then we had to fill in the rest of the story with a five-page paper. A story started formulating in my mind, taking me to a fantasy world brought to life by music. When I got home from school that day, I wrote the paper in less than an hour. It was the most fun I had ever had doing a homework assignment!

When I turned the paper in the next week, I didn’t expect anything to come of it. To my great surprise, my teacher picked my story to read in front of the entire class! I was absolutely mortified! I knew my face was turning beet red as he read my work aloud. What would my peers think of me? It sounded so strange being read by someone else. 

When he finished reading, he announced that the story’s author was me, much to my further embarrassment. He told me, “You better make this into a novel someday and get this published!” I was shocked. Like so many of us, I was the hardest on myself. And that is still true to this day. 

I have been writing little stories ever since I learned to hold a pencil. Thankfully, I grew up in a home where my parents and family always encouraged us to go for our dreams. Well, it’s been fifteen years since I started developing that Freshman English assignment into a novel, and I’m finally starting the process of publishing. 

The five-page essay has turned into a three-part series, set in a world with a language and culture of its own. I’ve been feeling for a couple years now that it was time to finish it and get it published.

Yet a few months ago, just as I answered God’s call to finally get these novels published. I started to have doubts. Satan started saying, “It’s too late. You missed the boat. You waited too long to get this published, and now it will never happen…” And for a moment, I wondered if it really was too late. I mean, it’s been almost fifteen years! Our world has changed so much since I was a freshman. Would my words really have an effect anymore? 

I talked to my husband as soon as those lies started filling my mind, and he was like, “Umm, of course, it’s not too late!” 

It’s true that I probably could have written and published my book series a long time ago. But I wouldn’t have had the knowledge or connections I have now. I’ve been working as a ghostwriter for the last year and a half. Running my own jewelry business has taught me about marketing and networking. Through Sanctioned Love, I met a fantastic publisher, Kristi Stalder, who is helping me on my journey to getting my books published! 

This experience made me wonder: how many other people out there have a dream from God that think, “It’s too late.” Maybe you’ve held a dream in your heart since you were a kid, just like me. But the years have flown by, and you think you missed your chance. 

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but YOU HAVE NOT MISSED YOUR CHANCE! The Bible says that God is not constrained by our timeline. I feel that God is calling us to be courageous, take those dreams off the shelf, and go for them! You know why? Because God put them in your heart for a reason, and He needs your unique creativity to be released in the earth– even for such a time as this. 

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.

Your dream is not just for you. It’s to bring life to those around you! I know there has been a lot of “hope deferred” in the last year. God wants your dream to come to life so you can impact others for His kingdom. You see, I think we sometimes get this skewed idea that going for our dream is selfish. I used to want to be a famous writer and travel worldwide doing interviews and book signings. But God changed my perspective. I don’t want fame. I want to make His name famous. I want to see a lost and dying world come to know my God as the loving, kind, and powerful One that He is. And He can use something as simple as a novel to do it. 

Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Allow Father God to pursue your dream with you. I believe He is giving His Church a special anointing for their dreams in this season. Maybe you feel like some of your dreams have died. Let Him breathe a fresh wind from His Spirit on your heart, and bring those dreams to life again!

Written by: Nicole Boyd

Did you grow up in the church? 

Are you new to your relationship with Jesus? 

Did you recently decide to restart your walk with Jesus? 

Do you have it all together and don’t need to know anything else? HA!  If that is you, please reach out to teach us your tips!  (LOL!)

It does not matter where you are at with your relationship with Jesus. We should always be looking to evaluate our current state and desire to understand more on a deeper level. To know Him more. To understand why we do, or don’t do things and to understand how we do things. We will never fully arrive, until then… let’s take a little time to learn more. 

Sometimes Christians can say and do things but not always have the heart revelation of what they are saying or doing. First, let’s look at the definitions…

Surrender – cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.

Worship – the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.

I am a very visual person. I used to picture surrendering as a white flag waving in the air. The person waving the flag acknowledges defeat, feels sadness, shame, embarrassment, and fear. The whole scene would be negative for the one surrendering. It took me a while to figure out that surrender could become a good picture instead of a negative one. Jesus took me through some journeys where I realized how to surrender in a healthy and positive way. 

In the last blog, I spoke about a song I wrote that came out of a very painful season in my life. I learned that you can surrender in different ways and multiple times in the same areas of life. That in itself can be frustrating. However, if you are willing, you will grow deeper in your walk with God through that if you let Him show you, what He wants to show and teach you. 

I was planning to have a Sozo (an inner healing exercise/ministry) with one of our team members. Before our time together, she had me do a little homework with Jesus. She said, “Ask Jesus what He wants to deal with during your Sozo time”. I thought it would be about how to immediately heal the pain in my heart. NOPE! He wanted me to focus on surrendering. I literally asked God, “AGAIN?!” You can laugh, but it was true. I felt like I had already learned how to surrender to Jesus. 

We left our home church because we felt like God had told us that that chapter of our lives was closing. My family and I moved down to Southern CA. with nowhere to live and no income. It was ALL on faith! My husband changed jobs because he felt that God told him to close that chapter also. We have trusted and surrendered many times, and now God was asking me to surrender AGAIN!

 If you look back at the definition of surrender, you will see that it says, “Cease resistance to an enemy,” but then it also says “opponent.” Obviously, God is NOT our enemy! But I think that sometimes our choices make Him our opponent instead of our ally. We make plans and have thoughts that we do not invite God into and then get mad and stressed when it is not working out, nor can we hear God in the midst of it all. When you find yourself there….. Guess what?! It is time to surrender that moment, that thought, that circumstance, that emotion, that person, and your life to Jesus. 

Look at the scripture references below: 

Psalm 46:10 (The Passion Translation) 

Surrender your anxiety!

Be silent and stop your striving, and you will see that I am God.

I am the God above all the nations,

and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth. 

Psalm 46:10 (New Living Translation)

 “Be still, and know that I am God!

    I will be honored by every nation.

    I will be honored throughout the world.”

I think it is important that when you read the Bible, that you always find another translation to compare it to. Sometimes the words in one translation will speak more clearly to your circumstance and help bring clarity to how you process your thoughts and prayers with Jesus. For example: in The Passion Translation, it says, “surrender your anxiety”. In the New Living Translation, however, it says, “Be still and know that I am God”. The words may change but the message does not. Sometimes you need to hear “Just be still” or “chill out!” Other times you might need it to be more broken down for it to tell you exactly what to do, “surrender your anxiety”. 

All that being said, we should always be on the lookout for opportunities where we need to be surrendering to Jesus. Trust me. He would rather take care of us, than watch us try to take care of things on our own. 

Now, that we have discussed the importance of surrendering to Jesus, in all of our various stages of walks, we need to figure out how to use worship in the midst of surrendering. 

For me, worshipping comes easy. I am a worshipper. Technically, everyone is a worshipper. However, some people can connect more easily in worship despite the songs, music, singers, setlist, environment, lighting, ambiance, worship leader…..and the list goes on. Hey! I like all of those things, too! However, those are not the definition of worship. (Refer to the definition above) Worship is a feeling of reverence for our Father God. Worship is an action of the heart. Worship is a form of communication with God. Surrendering during your worship time with the Lord can be one of the most intimate, powerful, and freeing times that you can have with Jesus. 

Sometimes we think we know how to worship. We think we know how to surrender but, we don’t surrender in our worship, and we don’t surrender our worship to God. I am not shaming anyone. I am speaking from experience. I learned how to worship, and I learned how to surrender, but I didn’t necessarily put them together.

In worship, we close our eyes, lift our hands, clap, sway… WHY? 

The actions we do during our worship to God should be an external expression of what is happening in that moment. Answer those questions for yourself. I don’t think there is a wrong answer unless you are doing it for the wrong reasons. So take a second to ask yourself, why I do what I do?

I close my eyes so I can see His face and see what He wants me to see. 

I lift my hands to show that I surrender to Him and to praise 

His name and point to the One that is above it all! 

I clap because I get excited when I feel the Spirit moving in the room. 

(Also to help keep everyone else clapping on tempo LOL!)

I sway because my body can’t help but move when 

I feel God’s presence, and I feel Him near me. 

Like I said, there is no wrong answer. Just ask yourself. 

I want to challenge you as well. 

Think about where your walk is with Jesus. 

What areas do you need to surrender to Him?

Take those areas into your worship time. 

Let Him reveal more, or let Him just love on you. 

His peace truly does surpass anything that we can understand in our own circumstances and reasoning. 

Remember that He is for you! 

Remember that His love is never-ending and never failing. 

Remember that  He chose you!

Remember that His ways are higher than our ways. 

Remember that Jesus loves YOU!

Sanctioned Love has been a growing team for many years now! In December 2020, Sanctioned Love Music had the privilege of recording its first live worship project. The experience alone far exceeded our expectations and desires. We cannot wait for it to come out this year so that you can enjoy and be blessed by it! Some of the songs are covers, but there are some original songs written by a couple of our worship leaders, myself included. One of the songs on the album is “Let You Love Me.” This song was quickly created out of a couple of conversations during a very difficult season in my life. 

For most Christians, we have this idea, that when we go through hard and difficult times, we can quote scripture at ourselves to snap out of the emotional rollercoaster of pain that we find ourselves in. Even though scripture is The Powerful Truth that we should be speaking over our lives, hearts, minds, and souls; it does not always feel like an instant healer. Reading scripture is not always the “Ibuprofen of words,” that once you’ve read it, the pain starts to dissipate in 20-30 minutes. Scripture is the sustaining Bread of Life. It brings revelation, it brings healing, it brings perspective, and it brings us closer to God. When we follow Jesus, nothing authentic comes from a “spiritual microwave”… DING! and YOU ARE DONE! 

Music is a powerful avenue to help assist in the healing of our hearts and minds. True restoration comes from Jesus but music-more specifically worship music-can help aid in this process. As I had stated earlier, the song “Let Me Love You” came out of a very painful season in my life. I felt so alone, frustrated, isolated, lost, confused, hurt, angry, tired, and needless to say, I was not in a good headspace. I was praying, fasting, waking up early to spend time with Jesus. I was reading my Bible and, worshipping, but nothing dulled the pain. I was trying soooo hard to seek His face, by doing all of these things to “get” to Him; yet I felt like nothing, and no one could help me. When I was on the phone with a friend, who was trying to encourage me, she simply told me that I did not have to “DO” but that I could simply “BE”. She told me to stop trying to do things and just let Jesus love me. 

Such a simple concept, and yet it never crossed my mind.

          When we got off the phone, the words sank into my heart and really resonated with me. I knew I had to write a song as soon as possible! I put together some chords, a melody, started piecing lyrics together, called a friend to help me with more lyrics, finished the lyrics and BOOM!-the song was completed within a day!

            This song is about how pain can keep us isolated and alone, but when we let Jesus come and sit by us, while we are hurting, the healing process can start. We have to invite Jesus into our situations. Sometimes, we need to use the tools that He has provided (scripture, prayers, community, worship etc.), and at other times, we need to just sit still and wait for Him to come sit with us. We need to invite Him to sit down, invite Him to put His arms around us, and invite Him to comfort us. Often, we know He is the One who can heal us, but we do not let Him get close enough to do anything because the pain seems too big or painful and we are afraid that if He touches us, it will hurt more.

Matthew 11: 28-30 says, “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to Me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with Mine. Learn My ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in Me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”

This scripture is such a good reminder.  We do not have to have it ALL together ALL the time! Our lives are busy and consuming at times, but……

It is all pointless without Jesus in the middle of it all. 

You can be experiencing the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, but either way, you need Jesus in the middle. Invite Him into your situation(s) today. Take a second to stop, breathe, and ask Him to sit by you. Be encouraged and remember that Jesus is for you! He is with you! If He feels far away, ask Him to come closer! 

So be on the lookout for the Aperitif Worship Project from Sanctioned Love Music! My prayer is that every note and lyric will speak to you. 

Love it! Share it! 

God Bless You, and Jesus Loves You!

In the last blog post, we saw that at the beginning of our walk with God, we are weak but lovely. The book of Song of Songs is a beautiful picture of the Bride and how we start out our relationship with Jesus. We see how her love matures over time and ends with Jesus placing a seal of fire on her heart that cannot be quenched. Today, we are going to focus on the seal of fire.

At the beginning of this 8-chapter love song, the maiden cries out for Jesus to give her the kisses of His mouth, or the kisses of His Word. 

Song of Songs 1:2

Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth—

    for Your love is more delightful than wine.

At the end of the book, we see how the Bride has matured and her commission. 

Song of Songs 8: 5-7

Friends: Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved? 

Him: Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labor gave you birth. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

God’s purpose is to provide an eternal companion for His Son. This is where we see that Jesus is not only our inheritance, but we are His! God wanted to create a people who would love His Son the same way He loves her. You see, at the end of days, all creation will bow down in obedience to God. We know this from the verse that says: “Every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is LORD.” At this point, people don’t have a choice. They WILL bow and confess that Jesus is Lord. But there will be a portion of those who actually love Him by choice. We need the power of God to love God. 

This seal on the heart is a flame of God’s fire. It is so powerful that no power in the natural realm can overpower it. Even water cannot put out this kind of fire. Many waters of sin and trials, this fire cannot be quenched. 

This is a promise. He wants us to set our hearts on and actively participate to receive this seal. This seal is a progressive seal, and it releases more as we surrender to it. It begins when we receive Jesus, and it progressively transforms and grows – forever. 

The study of Song of Songs is a call for one thing. It is the Spirit and the bride saying, “Come, Lord Jesus.” Jesus is calling the bride to invite Him to be the seal on our hearts. He will not force us to love Him. He calls us to invite Him to come and allow Him to love us in this way. He wants us to know Him as the God of jealous love. He demands that all of our hearts be His, and then it exhilarates us. When we give up everything to love Him like it talks about in Song of Songs, 8:7, it would be preposterous to boast in that. His love is the reward itself. Jesus empowers us to love Him and to love others.

Jesus says, “set me as a seal.” He says that the love He will impart to you will be as strong as death. It will be as all-consuming in its demands as death is. Everything dies. Nobody and nothing escapes the power of death. He’s saying, “My love is as demanding as death is.” As nothing can outrun death, so nothing can outrun my love. It is far more powerful than addictions, bondage, or sickness. 

The jealousy of divine love is cruel or unrelenting and demanding. He is the living flame of love. If we walk in his light, He gives us more and more. Nothing escapes the grasp of jealous love. Whatever darkness is in your heart, his love is more consuming than even that.

This jealousy is not a negative jealousy. It is of love and light. He knows that it will cause our spirit to rejoice. 

He wants us to love him in the same way He loves us. When he asks you to love Him with all of your mind, soul, heart and strength, He isn’t asking you to do something that He hasn’t first done for us. He loves us the same way that he asks us to love Him!

Can you imagine? God loves us with all His mind. That’s the mind that created the universe and the galaxies. That’s the mind that created every intricate part of creation. That’s mind-blowing in itself! He loves us with all His strength. All his soul and all his heart. 

God will not relent until he has all of us. He won’t relent until he has it all, like the song. The unity with Jesus is the seal of love he places on our hearts. That is our greatest calling – to love Him. That is what I have learned through this study. It’s not about the “stuff” we do for him. It’s just like Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet. We need to have both: service and love. But the greater call is love. 

And that’s the beauty of love! When we love Him as He loves us, we will naturally overflow with love for others. We will naturally serve others! 

If we yield to God’s love, it will overtake us – and we can have it now! We don’t have to wait until we die and go to be with him. We can have it in this age, not just the age to come. (Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.) We can look at the flood of darkness that was foretold to come in the end times and see it through the fiery seal on our hearts, knowing that not even that flood can put it out. 

The ‘wealth of our house’ is not just finances. It is our honor and character, our legacy. Paul said he gave all those things up, counting them as rubbish compared to the love of God. 

I believe that God is calling us to return to our First Love in this season. There have been many distractions and trials during the past year, and it would be foolish to say that they are over just because we have entered a new year. But even in all these things, we can have confidence in Him. We can place our trust in Him. It’s time to turn our attention and affections back to Jesus. He is the only one who can fill the hole in our hearts. Loving Him is the greatest reward we could ask for. 

I encourage you to go through the full study with Mike Bickle at https://mikebickle.org/series/The-Song-of-Songs-(2007). I promise you won’t be disappointed!

What an amazing weekend this has been! We have been preparing to record our first ever LIVE CD project at Eagle Mountain in Bend, Oregon, and we know that many of you have been praying for us as we do seek the heart of Father God for this project.

The album name, Aperitif, came through much prayer and intercession. It is a prophetic declaration from the Lord designed to reveal the heart of this project. An aperitif is used before a meal to draw together the mingling guests before the celebration enfolds. The chosen flavors are designed to stimulate and prepare the guests’ palates to open wide in anticipation. Then, in that moment of attention, all are ready to receive the beautiful bounty of the magnificent banquet table that the Father has so lovingly prepared for them. The Lord is preparing a banquet and this first LIVE album from Sanctioned Love is an aperitif of praise and worship.

We believe that the Lord is saying to taste and see that He is good! No matter what is going on around us in the world and in our nation, He is still on the throne and He is good. This time of preparation, this time of enjoying the aperitif, is to prepare us to receive his bountiful banquet!

“Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit. He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me.”

‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭2:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This verse felt fitting to share in connection with this momentous project. It speaks of Jesus as the Groom, the lover of our souls. He brings us under his covering and refreshes us. His presence is delicious!

We believe that in this next season, he is calling us back to our First Love. The church as a whole has been a sleeping giant, but no more! We pray that this time of preparation would refresh and encourage you so that you may do all that God has called you to in the great awakening that is coming!

The album will be available for purchase on iTunes for digital download in Spring of 2021. In the meantime, we would love to have your continued prayers as the project goes into post-production. We believe that Holy Spirit will take this recording around the globe, using it to minister to the deep places of people’s hearts.

Where do you stand on God’s Love and His Judgement?

There are essentially two schools of thought in some Christian circles. I believe that these two thoughts operate out of fear. One believes that the Love of God overcomes judgment and the other view believes that because of God’s judgment, He is showing His Love. I think these two views tend to run toward the far end of each spectrum and not consider that God has both of these characteristics in balance through Salvation.

When there are extremes on the Love or the Judgement of God, it can bring division within the body and confusion to the world. The underlying factor of both of these viewpoints and or factions is rooted in fear. We do need the fear of the Lord but not fear that steers us toward extremes.

We can run into the extreme position that if God is a God of Love, then His Love overrides His Judgement. We can also run into the other extreme position, that if God is a God of judgment, He is just, and that is His Love. Both of these statements are true, but what are the motives behind them? Fear can cause these views to be unbalanced. Fear may push one faction to the extreme spectrum that stands on the thought that God is Love and His Love cancels out His judgment. Negating that there is no judgment. And on the other extreme spectrum of thought, fear pushes people to believe that His judgment causes repentance so that God can love them. Thus, negating that God’s loving-kindness leads people into repentance. Both of these nullifies the Passion of Christ and His Salvation.

Both of these viewpoints can have a mixture in it and dilute the Truth of God’s Word. For example, God loves everyone no matter how you do your “Jesus,” God loves everyone, and He doesn’t want anyone to perish…FALSE! What? It’s false?? You even quoted a portion of scripture in here Joy? Do you see the danger?? Mix some good sounding scripture in, and there you go, everyone is saved because God is Love. This discredits Salvation on all levels!

The other example is that you need to complete a list of things to be saved and to be forgiven. God is this dictator in heaven, and if you sneeze wrong, you are going to hell. This view has no room for God’s mercy and loving-kindness. It’s a works doctrine. You can only attain Salvation by doing this, this and that. This view also negates Salvation on all levels.

Therefore, the balanced position would be to know that God is both the God of unconditional Love AND a God of judgment. We must move in the full counsel of His word.

There is no judgment for a born again believer because of the work that Jesus did on the cross and because of His shed blood. That is our justice and judgment! We know that we have been purchased because of a great price, the death of our Savior on a cross. We are eternally grateful for His Love and that He took our judgment and laid it upon Himself. This Love, propels us into loving God with humility and loving others into repentance. It propels us to die to our own flesh and sinful nature and to please God with our lives. We know that without God and without receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior, there is judgment.

God is LOVE, and God is JUDGMENT! For those born again, receiving Jesus as their Lord and Savior, that is their judgment. 

For those who refuse to receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior, that is their judgment.

Love and Judgement are both connected to the shed Blood of Jesus on the cross. It is the Blood of Jesus that justifies us, and we are saved from His wrath and judgment. Because of His great Love for us and because of His rich mercy, He made us alive with Christ Jesus when we were still yet dead in our sins. It is by His unmerited grace that we have been saved! This is the full counsel of God. Salvation is His Love and His Judgement.

With all of this being said, the earth is experiencing judgment from a God of justice and a God of Love. I believe right now that the earth is travailing and is expectantly waiting for the sons/daughters of God to be revealed. In His mercy and by His grace, He is moving in Judgement upon the earth to wake up His church from their slumber. He exposes sin hidden by the enemy and reveals a beautiful hidden mystery, His Bride, His Church. This is all happening at once because He is calling His Bride to labor with Him and usher in the greatest harvest of souls that the world has ever seen. God is revealing His “Burning Ones,” those who are baptized and are on fire in the Holy Spirit! They are being refined by the Refiner’s fire. God is in the process of purifying and sanctifying His Bride. This is done by washing their robes in the Blood of the Lamb to become white as snow. 

God is also looking for a harvest throughout the earth. He is calling out to those who do not yet know Him. God is calling them to repentance and Salvation. This is His Love! 

God is pouring His Spirit out on all flesh. This is the Holy Spirit’s finest hour. Alleluia!

John 3:16 ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.’

Beautiful ones, I’m writing this to encourage you to move in the full counsel of God and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Let us not get caught in any extremes but to be leaders in the full counsel of God’s word and by the full measure of His Holy Spirit.

Wake up o’sleeper. Come into your inheritance! There is a harvest of souls yet to harvest. The fields are ready for harvest!

Position yourself. Surrender yourself to the Refiner’s Fire. Come into the full counsel of God. Keep your eyes locked on His. No more extremes! No more mixture! You were born for such a time as this!

Speak the truth in Love! Move in compassion, laying down the plumb lines and standards as you go. God is moving in Love and in judgment as we approach His soon return. Look to Him, listen to Him and thank Him for His Salvation. Ask Him to show you ways that you can bring His full counsel and the full measure of His Holy Spirit to those who are perishing.

Be blessed!

Joy Pharo

Sanctioned Love

This vision came from one of our team members while having a conversation with one of her friends. 

Her friend said, “I’m talking to Jesus and asking Him to take care of my ‘baggage’.” 

Her reply, “As for your baggage, Jesus has already taken care of it.” 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

The vision of “The Football.”

There is a black suitcase-like bag or briefcase called “The Football” that goes everywhere the U.S. President goes. It carries top secret information and codes. This “football” is hooked by a strong, thick leather strap to the wrist of the person assigned to carry it. This strap makes it almost impossible for the bag to be stolen (without taking the carrier with it.)

We as Christians sometimes carry around our ‘baggage/football’ in a suitcase strapped to our wrist. We would love to get rid of it, though we tend to think we are stuck with it for the rest of our lives. So, we try to hide it, decorate it, camouflage it, or stick it under our shirt. Sometimes we even try to pretend it’s not even there. It is incredibly tiring to lug this baggage around and even more tiring, trying to hide it from others as well as ourselves. 

Yet, Jesus has already released the strap from our wrist and set us free from this ‘baggage’,                                   

through His death and resurrection, although we don’t always realize this truth. We walk around ‘white-knuckling’ this suitcase so others can’t grab it and possibly see all the mistakes we’ve made, who we really are. What will they think of us? And don’t just put the suitcase in your closet and think that it means it is gone. No, it’s still available no matter how far back in the closet you shove it. You can still go back to these “issues,” those fears, those lies  (Not a good idea–believe me, I know!) 

All these negative emotions, fears, knee-jerk reactions etc. can still persist. They don’t just go away. We need to hold them up to the Light (Jesus) and expose them for what they are……..LIES! And as Bob Hazlett says in his book, ‘Think Like Heaven’……”show them the door……escort them to the trash heap!”  And don’t just put the suitcase in your closet and think that it means it is gone. No, it’s still available no matter how far back in the closet you shove it. You can still go back to these “issues,” those fears, those lies. (Not a good idea–believe me, I know) Leave it at Jesus’ feet and let Him take it from you and keep it…..for good!

We have to realize our freedom, but more importantly, choose to live from that freedom. We have to live from that place of victory. But, just because we are free from our ‘baggage’, does it also mean we are free of the consequences of the choices we’ve made? Not necessarily. We may have to walk through some consequences of our actions. Does this mean that Jesus doesn’t love us? Absolutely not! He is there to take us through, walking with us every step of the way, but we do it from a place of freedom and victory, NOT defeat. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Today, we will be going over a teaching on vulnerability from Sandie Doughty. She addresses the fears and feelings we face when we are vulnerable and how risk, vulnerability and courage are necessary to have effective communication.  

Leadership definition:  Anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and has the courage to develop that potential.

Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or waste an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior in their team.

Risk definition: uncertainty of outcome, of actions or events.  Risk is a situation or event where something of human value (including humans themselves) is at stake and where the outcome is uncertain.

Vulnerability definition:  uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure

Courage definition:  The ability to do something that is difficult or frightens you.  Act on one’s beliefs despite danger or disapproval.  It is about having the courage to “show up” when you can’t predict or control the outcome.

The Leadership Salt Test:

Mark 9:49-50 For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt.  Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it?  Have salt in yourselves and have peace with one another.

Sometimes it feels like we are going through the fire when we enter a hard conversation. But it’s that fire which is going to refine us, if we allow the Holy Spirit to work. 

Take McDonalds fries for example: they are so salty you must have a coke to drink, that’s how salty our words should be. They should cause someone to want to drink or be thirsty for Living Water.

Proverbs 14:12

There is a way that seems right to the man, but its end is the way of destruction.

Great leaders work to make sure people can be themselves and feel a sense of belonging.  Pay attention, listen with genuine care and desire for connection. A wise leader is someone who says “I see you, hear you.  I do not have all the answers, but I am going to keep listening and asking questions.” They make you feel like you are part of a team, a valuable part.

We want to choose freedom over fear when it comes to leadership. To do that, we must take risks, allow vulnerability and be courageous. But vulnerability is scary at times. You are opening yourself up to pain, and that is why it also takes courage. 

We must bring vulnerability, risk, and courage, which means that we don’t choose comfort over being respectful and honest. Choosing politeness over respect is not respectful. As a leader, you must create a culture where being “armored” is not accepted. That is what honest communication is.

Ask yourself these questions to see whether or not you are communicating in an effective way: Can you have a hard conversation? Can you stay in a hard conversation? Clarity is kind. Being nclear is unkind.  Feeding people half-truths to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind. 

Think about Jesus and his motives in communication. He always had pure motives, even when he may have felt harsh. When you encounter pure motive, it affects you.  You want to respond to it. We are wired to respond to Truth.  When we admit that life is hard or that situations leave us feeling exposed, we open an opportunity for human connections.

GRACE in vulnerability. 

If part of the human experience is failure, then we do not need to run away from it.  Sticking around our community after our failures are exposed is hard, but there is reward in this type of vulnerability.  It must have been both vulnerable and humiliating for Peter to rejoin the disciples after he carried out the denial that Jesus predicted.  But if he hadn’t shown up, we wouldn’t see his interaction with the risen Lord.  I am inspired by Peter’s example and convinced that we too need to learn how to receive God’s grace in our small failures so that we are prepared for the more significant failures.  In fact, I think one of the most important roles I have as a parent is to model failure to my kids.  It’s a part of life they will have to face, 100 percent guaranteed.  I want them to know that as vulnerable, susceptible beings, failure is something we can anticipate,  And I want them to know that, as Christians, our vulnerability is our opportunity to receive God’s grace, whether help for our failures or strength for our weaknesses.  I want to imitate Peter in this, but it takes some work.

The level of collective courage and vulnerability in an organization is the absolute best predictor of that organization’s ability to be successful.

 Trust within a team and family is vital! Today we have one of our team members sharing her thoughts on developing trust, Joy Pharo.

1 Corinthians 4:1-2: So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. (NIV). 

There are three things to consider when you are trying to figure out if a person is trustworthy. (And can be great questions to ask yourself to see if you are a person who is trustworthy. Here are the three C’s of trust: 

1. Credibility: “Can I trust this person? DO they have good standing with others?” 

2. Character: “Does this person have integrity. Are they honest and true to their word?” This is the root of success or failure in a relationship. 

3. Competence: “Does this person follow through with their responsibility? Are they reliable emotionally, physically and spiritually?” These actions foster trust. 

In order for people to build trust in a relationship, there has to be honest communication. 

Colossians 4:6 (NIV) Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Before we can recognize what healthy relationship looks like, let’s first look at what it does NOT look like: 

When someone keeps things bottled in or ‘doesn’t want to rock the boat’ it is a sign of unhealthy communication. These people usually push their frustrations and concerns deep down inside them until they come to the point of explosion. They may also use passive communication, or skirt around the issue. 

Another form of unhealthy communication can come on as too direct. You can see this in people who are labeled as ‘hot-headed’, using intimidating body language and tone with communicating. 

The third type is someone who is indecisive, speaks out both sides of the argument, much like the first person who doesn’t want to ‘make waves’. Their communication is often muddled and confusing. 

So what are some practices of healthy communication?

• Pray before any communication with your Team

• Speak the Truth in love

• State facts clearly

• Be vulnerable and humble

• Listen

• Find a way to a solution

Building Trust with a Biblical Perspective

An understanding of Trust, begins with God and biblical principles. The concept for the words “trust” and “trustworthy” are found primarily in the words for faith, faithfulness, and to believe.

Some definitions of TRUST

Verb – “pisteuo” means to believe in something, or someone; to be convinced of something, to give credence; to have confidence, to trust, to entrust, to rely on someone.

Noun – “pistis” means faith, trust, that which causes trust and faith–such as a promise or pledge; trust, faith, confidence in–such as the Lord’s help in distress (see the following biblical verse), a persuasion or conviction, that something is true. Matthew 8:10 records Jesus’ response to “trust”:

When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.” (NIV)

Adjective – “pistos” means trustworthy, faithful, dependable, inspiring trust, worthy of trust, reliable.

How to Facilitate TRUST

 Growing Biblical relationships is key! We do this by being a servant to one another through honor and communication. It is the only way to build a successful team. 

We must start by believing in each other’s character, competence, and goodwill. We need to root fear out of our lives and be free to openly disclose information and personal feelings. However, it may be scary to talk about those feelings if we were raised in an environment that did not allow open communication. We can create this atmosphere by respecting and accepting each other – even if we may not agree. 

As you grow in effective, safe, and healthy communication, it is encouraged to share valued resources and goals. But we must also understand that we must minimize the control factor in our relationships. It takes courage to let go of control and allow others to be who God created them be. This kind of Godly communication involves risk, opening us up to consequences that can both benefit and create loss, depending on how others chose to react. Do not be fooled, this kind of healthy communication also takes work if you want to achieve the desired results together as a team. 

And these principles are not just for those that lead an organization, or team at work. They can be used in family and friendships as well. In fact, they should be used in every relationship we have. As people of God, we want our relationships to show forth the love and kindness of God, exhibiting all the fruits of the spirit. 

So what are some practices of healthy communication?

• Pray before any communication with your Team

• Speak the Truth in love

• State facts clearly

• Be vulnerable and humble

• Listen

• Find a way to a solution

Building Trust with a Biblical Perspective

An understanding of Trust, begins with God and biblical principles. The concept for the words “trust” and “trustworthy” are found primarily in the words for faith, faithfulness, and to believe.

Some definitions of TRUST

Verb – “pisteuo” means to believe in something, or someone; to be convinced of something, to give credence; to have confidence, to trust, to entrust, to rely on someone.

Noun – “pistis” means faith, trust, that which causes trust and faith–such as a promise or pledge; trust, faith, confidence in–such as the Lord’s help in distress (see the following biblical verse), a persuasion or conviction, that something is true. Matthew 8:10 records Jesus’ response to “trust”:

When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.” (NIV)

Adjective – “pistos” means trustworthy, faithful, dependable, inspiring trust, worthy of trust, reliable.

How to Facilitate TRUST

 Growing Biblical relationships is key! We do this by being a servant to one another through honor and communication. It is the only way to build a successful team. 

We must start by believing in each other’s character, competence, and goodwill. We need to root fear out of our lives and be free to openly disclose information and personal feelings. However, it may be scary to talk about those feelings if we were raised in an environment that did not allow open communication. We can create this atmosphere by respecting and accepting each other – even if we may not agree. 

As you grow in effective, safe, and healthy communication, it is encouraged to share valued resources and goals. But we must also understand that we must minimize the control factor in our relationships. It takes courage to let go of control and allow others to be who God created them be. This kind of Godly communication involves risk, opening us up to consequences that can both benefit and create loss, depending on how others chose to react. Do not be fooled, this kind of healthy communication also takes work if you want to achieve the desired results together as a team. 

And these principles are not just for those that lead an organization, or team at work. They can be used in family and friendships as well. In fact, they should be used in every relationship we have. As people of God, we want our relationships to show forth the love and kindness of God, exhibiting all the fruits of the spirit. 

“Trust is the ‘miracle ingredient’ in organizational life–a lubricant that reduces friction, a bonding agent that glues together disparate parts, a catalyst that facilitates action. No substitute–neither threat nor promise–will do the job as well.”