Intentional and Purposeful

“Beloved children, our love can’t be an abstract theory we only talk about, but a way of life demonstrated through our loving deeds.”

‭‭1 John‬ ‭3:18‬ TPT

Have you ever taken a moment to think about what it looks like to be intentional? What do you imagine? What kinds of feelings or desires spring up inside of you? Does it make you think about buying your friend a card for no other reason but to send them words of encouragement? Do you think about that coworker who gets on your nerves? Maybe a thoughtful little gift could spur you on to understanding each other better and developing a friendship. How about taking the time every day to sit with God and let Him speak to you, and maybe you don’t say a thing about your needs but let God speak what is on his heart?

Being intentional costs you something. The definition of intentional is something that is done on purpose or deliberately. When you purpose to be intentional, it requires a thoughtful effort on your part. It may not cost you money, but it will require you to give of your time and of yourself. All these examples above require something of you. You may experience a moment of discomfort giving that stinker of a coworker a gift because what if that person rejects your desire to start off on a better foot? Or maybe the card you send to that friend is not reciprocated with a thoughtful response or a thank you?

Being intentional is more important than you think because not being intentional can cost you valuable relationships. When you neglect to take care of the relationships God has entrusted to you, you not only hurt those in front of you, but you start to feel alone. Maybe you feel alone or unseen because people stopped trying because the relationship always felt one-sided. Perhaps you only reach out if you need something from them. They put in all the effort, and you never return that effort. Maybe you seem to always talk about yourself, but you never inquire on how things are going on their side of the fence. Perhaps you randomly fall off the face of the earth for long periods of time. This way of living in a relationship is selfish. You do not get to play the victim if you are self-inflicting this type of pain. You must make a conscious decision to be the friend that you want others to be for you.

So, what has spurred this topic of conversation in my own relationships?

Recently, I took a mini-vacation to get away with God and take a rest period for myself. During one of my quiet times with him, I heard God tell me to take 30 days of being intentional. During these 30 days, God wanted me to get away from all social media and to work on connecting with people through in-person hang-out times, phone calls, encouraging texts and over facetime. He wanted it to be about more than just liking a post on Facebook. He wanted me to get out of my comfort zone, get off my couch, get out of my house and make a genuine effort to find a relational connection. Not only did I feel that making these genuine connections would help me grow closer with my friends, but it would also bring me out of a place of loneliness and disconnection.

During my quiet time with God during my 30 days of fasting social media, he began to speak to me about his heart for other people and would have me pray for them. This caused me to be more intentional with my friends and family. To reach out and send texts, letting them know what I was praying for them. He had me make an effort to spend time with them and be an encouragement. You have to make time for what you want to grow. If you’re going to succeed in being intentional, you have to give up your own wants and desires to create time and space to build relationships with others. A healthy relationship takes time and effort.

Even in this time of social distancing, you can find connections and relationships that are more than superficial conversations or simply sitting next to each other on your phones. I’ve been challenged to put my phone away when I am with others. Not having social media to turn to when I’m bored has caused me to reach out and create conversations with real, live people. I don’t get to fill a void of loneliness or boredom with a fake sense of connection. I have to reach out and find a genuine connection.

Are you intentional in your walk with God and your walk with others? Are you thinking of others or only of yourself? The more intentional you are with God, the more intentional you become with others.

Embrace the season you’re in, thank God for it, and make the most of it.